Cinema has a rich history of cool weapons and guns, but for every .44 Magnum there’s also those weapons that can leave you scratching your head. These are the crazy guns, bombs and gases that are really weird. From ones that you wouldn’t pick up even if your life depended on it, to weapons that just make no sense at all. These are 10 Bizarre Movie Weapons that you would probably not want to use. 

Bob-omb – Super Mario Bros. (1993)

The 1993 Super Mario Brothers film was a huge disappointment for fans of the games, but one character that managed to make its way over to the film world unscathed was the Bob-omb. This odd-looking weapon is basically one of those mechanical toys that have little feet and slowly walk across a surface once wound-up. The Bob-omb is no toy though, as this little fella explodes, hence why he looks like an Acme bomb. In the parallel dimensions, the Bob-omb is a feared weapon, demonstrated by the city’s inhabitants panicking at the sight of one.  This strange looking weapon packs a powerful punch and popular with brand named shoe companies too. In the film, Bob-omb has a Nike logo on its feet. 

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch – Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

“O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.”

Faced with the deadliest adversary known to man, the Legendary Black Beast of Arrrghhh (aka the killer Rabbit of Caerbannog), King Arthur and his knights are forced to use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Having just witness the innocent looking Rabbit bite the head off one of his brave Knights, Arthur decides the best route of action is explosives (Holy explosives). The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch comes with an instruction manual the size of your arm and back, but it’s great at defeating killer Rabbits. Just don’t hold on to it past the count of three.

Codpiece Revolver – From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

The Codpiece Revolver first appeared as joke prop in Robert Rodriguez’s Desperado, and the director loved it so much that he managed to work the gun into his Vampire mega hit, From Dusk till Dawn. It was in Dusk till Dawn that we actually saw the weapon in action, in the hands (or groin) of Sex Machines. Sex Machine, played by practical effects maestro Tom Savini, gets a couple of rounds off as a horde of Vampires attack. The gun itself is not a real firearm in real life, the practicality of getting the gun to work is impossible, and the prop used is inert and had no moving parts. Even in the film world, this weird gun raises (no pun intended) far too many questions. How do the bullets get into the chamber, how do you aim, how do reload and what about the kick back? This Comical gun is just a bizarre little flourish that keeps Rodriguez laughing. Half-cocked indeed.

Organic Gristle Pistol – eXistenZ (1999)

In the bizarre David Cronenberg movie eXistenZ, reality and virtual reality collide. Ted Pikul (Jude Law) finds himself testing out a new game called eXistenZ. Inside the game, Ted is compelled to order an unappetizing special at Chinese restaurant, which consist of an assortment of mutated animals. It’s from the bones and gristle of these creatures that he builds an Organic Pistol, and loads it with teeth from his own mouth. The resulting weapon is a nasty, twisted looking, gun that’s just as deadly as a regular pistol. Just get you jabs before using it.

The Glaive – Krull (1983)

When the “Beast” and his army of futuristic “Slayers” invade, Prince Colwyn future bride, Princess Lyssa, Is kidnapped and taken to the Black Fortress. Faced with saving the fate of the universe, Colwyn goes in search of the mystical five-pointed weapon called the Glaive. It may look like a throwing star, but crazy weapon can be controlled  by the power of the mind . Just watch how you hold the dammed thing, as razor sharp spikes shoot at the end of each point. As weapons go, a flying, razor sharp, mind spoke is pretty weird. Don’t see too many of them about these days. 

Sentinel Spheres – Phantasm (1979)

Phantasm is a crazy film about parallel universe and undead midget slaves. But the story is only half as weird as the films stand out villains/weapons which haunt the corridors of the mausoleum, the Sentinel Spheres. These metallic silver spheres are semi-sentient, created by the Tall Man by shrinking down human brains. They can be controlled at will by the Tall Man and fly around with an assortment of deadly weapons, including spikes, drills and lasers.  Anyone meeting with one of the spheres usually comes to a messy end.

Head Bomb – Total Recall (1990)

When Quaid needs to get back to Mars, In Paul Verhoeven’s Total Recall,  he must get through customs unrecognized. Like any good secret agent, he dons a disguise, but instead of a pair of dark sunglasses, a fake nose and moustache, Quaid goes all out crazy. He dons a fat woman suit, complete with a talking head bomb.  The whole disguise things falls apart as the talking head malfunctions, after being asked one too many questions, but the bomb works just fine. Not the most conventional weapon ever used, but at least it has a good sense of humour. “Get ready for a surprise!”

Cotton Candy Gun—Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Throwing all sense of logic out the window, Killer Klowns from Outer Space sees an entire town under siege from an alien race looking to cash in on the latest taste sensation, Humans! Their weapons of choice include acid cream pies, killer shadow puppets and a gun that wraps you in cotton candy. The Cotton Candy Gun wraps it’s victims in an alien substance that looks just like cotton candy, but it slowly dissolves you down into all those tasty juices. Being cocooned also makes for easy storage and transport, so its practical as well as deadly. Sweet!

Smylex – Batman (1989)

Smylex is the name given to the deadly substance produced by the Joker in Tim Burton’s original 1989 film. It is a nerve toxin that attacks the nervous system of its victims, causing a slow, painful death. Lacing popular hygiene products with varies version of Smylex, Gotham city finds itself in a grip of fear, as death is only a face wash away. Mixing the chemicals would result in a bizarre death where the victim would literally laugh themselves to death, as the poisons take hold. As they die, the victim’s facial muscles pulled taut in a fixed grimace, mirroring the Jokers famous smile. Existing in both liquid and gaseous states, Smylex can easily be dispersed for maximum death count. As the Jokers says, “If you’ve gotta go, go with a smile!”.

Medusas Head – Clash of the Titans (1981)

Faced with a giant sea monster sent by the Gods, the dreaded Kraken, there is little you can do but soil your pants and beg for a quick death. But good old Perseus decided to take down the beast, hoping to save his future bride from being sacrificed. Perseus, being only a demigod, does not stand a chance against the Kraken, so he pursues the one weapon in which he can use to destroy the legendary beast. Travelling into the underworld, he claims the snake covered head of Medusa, a beast whose very stare would turn a man to stone. Wielding the severed like a weapon, he holds the head up high, so that it’s stare is fixed upon the Kraken. A risky move, but one that pays off as the Kraken gazes on the severed head, and turns to solid stone. Perseus defines the Gods, defeats the beats and gets the girl…hazzaar! What a guy!

“Hi Horror Fans – I have a very strict gun control policy: If its made from BONE and TEETH, I don’t want it! Some of these weapons are just bat-shit CRAZY. Grenades for Rabbits and candy guns, it’s all a little too much.. Give me a Bazooka and  Flamethrower and I’d be ready to take on anything. Hand me a small wind up toy and pretty screwed. You gotta keep smiling though..right….. right!

Keep Rotten”

“Morti” The Mortician